Surgery & Beyond

 It was spring 2013 and the day of surgery had arrived! 

If you are squeamish look away now. Well not right now I'll tell you when...........

I arrived at the hospital for 8am as instructed on my admission letter. I had nothing to eat or drink which was also an instruction on the admission letter

I was shown to a bed by a nurse and given a  hospital gown which I was asked to put on. "The doctor will see you shortly"  she informed me as she pulled the curtain around me and left. (Don't call me shortly)

I undressed and put on the gown as I was instructed. I was trembling but wasn't sure if that was because I was cold, lack of food or Fear! I think it was the latter.

I could hear quite a bit of activity on the ward but couldn't see anything. Which was quite frustrating because anyone that knows me, knows that I am incredible nosey, so not being able to see what all the activity was really pissed me off!

After what seemed  like ages the curtain was pulled back and in walked the Consultant and the anaesthetist "Morning Mrs James I'm Mr Parker and I will be doing your surgery today.  "This" and he looked to the side of him "is Dr Raab" the anaesthetist who will ask you a few questions and then if you could just sign the consent form we will  see you later." "Is that OK" he asked. I nodded. 

Now don't ask me what questions they asked because it was all a bit of a blur but I signed the consent form and they pulled the curtain around again and left. 

The nurse came back in and informed me that I would be third on the list so just to relax for a while. RELAX! Was she having a laugh. How could I relax when I was about to have my nose sliced open! 

It was 9.45am at this point and I thought I still had time to make a run for it. Sod the consent form. They could sue me!  I wanted to keep my NOSE!

Just as I was about to make a exit stage left and get the hell out of there. The curtain was pulled back once more and the nurse came back in with a small paper cup. " Here, take this it will help you relax" "I know it must be scary for you but you are in good hands." She poured me some water and watched as I took the white pill. " Just lie on the bed for a while and we will be back for you shortly." and off she went. That's it I thought to myself I ain't going anywhere. I'm trapped! but at least she had left the curtain slightly open so I could see what was going on. Every cloud.

The little white pill was a sedative and it seemed to do the trick as I settled down and almost fell asleep. That was until I heard the nurse at the side of me along with a porter and a trolley. Then I heard those dreaded words. "they are ready for you in theatre!"

OMG! OMG! OMG! was all I could think as I lay on the trolley and was wheeled along the corridor! This is it I'm going to lose part of my face! I was petrified and my stomach was turning over. I think I would have lost the contents of my bowels but luckily I didn't have any contents having not eaten since 6pm the previous day. They know what they are doing these health professionals.😉

I went through some double doors and  suddenly the lights looked really bright. The trolley came to a standstill. I saw a familiar face but couldn't quite place him.  It was the anaesthetist  and he asked if I was ready and explained he would be giving me the anaesthetic and putting me to sleep. If I would like to count down from 10 he said as he pumped the anaesthetic into the canular that had been put in place earlier. When did that happen I wondered.

Ok  Dr Raab started  counting10........ OMG ......, OMG 9 I was in sheer panic mode then I started to have a word with myself.  I started to think about Katie Piper. That lovely young girl who had acid thrown in her face and those dreadful injuries she had to endure. 8....... What am I thinking about I'm being silly, dramatic this will be nothing compared to what that poor girl went through. 7.................. Zzzzzzzzzz

Just two hours later I was back on the ward after half an hour in recovery. I was a bit dopey but that's nothing New 🤣

"How are you feeling?"  the nurse asked. "Ok I think" but wait I couldn't feel my nose. Omg my nose as gone I thought as I reached to touch my face! "Don't touch" the nurse scolded. But I did and was relieved to feel my nose was still there. Phew!

"Would you like a nice cup of tea and some toast" the nurse asked. " "That would be lovely" I replied suddenly feeling quite ravenous. 

I was dying to see what my nose looked like but it felt ok so it couldn't  be that bad could it?

The nurse brought me tea and toast and after thanking her I tucked in. I would have  much preferred real butter but hey ho this is the NHS.  I have never actually enjoyed tea and toast so much for a long time and lay back feeling satisfied, happy and so relieved that it was all over.

The consultant came round a few hours later and informed me that all had gone well from there point of view. He asked how I was feeling and when I said fine. He said  " in that case I'm happy to discharge you and you are  free to go home.  Have you got someone to pick you up?" I nodded. He then spoke to the nurse and then bid me farewell. With the words "See you again in 2 weeks"

I got dressed and waited for Duane to arrive who they had called to say I was ready. The nurse gave me some medication and instruction on how to manage the wound. At this point I hadn't seen my nose but Duane's face when he came onto the ward told me all I needed to know! He tried not to look shocked but I'm afraid he failed. He saw my face and tried to reassure me " It's not as bad as I thought it would be" he said. Yeah right.

We drove home in virtual silence Duane was a man of few words under normal circumstances so I wasn't overly concerned. Besides I just wanted to get home to the comfort of my own bed and go to sleep.

It wasn't too bad it was true. It looked quite bad initially  because it was swollen and quite red but no worse than when I had over indulged on too much red wine .🤣🤣 With each day it improved and I was surprised  at how quickly I was healing.

My 2 week check up came around and I was quietly optimistic. I had  been a good girl and done what I was told in managing the wound. The swelling had gone down quite a bit, it wasn't too bad at all. I was a little apprehensive when I was called into the consultants room but also feeling quite smug.

The Consultant was the same one who had done the surgery. I remembered him but I  don't think he remembered me. To him I was just another patient or Nose.

He looked very serious but they always  do don't they these consultants. Professional is what they call it. Something I never got the hang of in my working life.

He looked at me, well my nose actually and then he spoke. "I'm afraid we are going to have to do the surgery again Mrs James. WHAT! "The margin we took away shows it is not quite clear of the cancer so we will have to do revision surgery." "I know this is probably not the news you wanted to hear" he continued no shit Sherlock! "but we can't leave it like that. "It's also not aesthetically as good as we would like. So we can probably improve it from that respect. "Is there any alternative" I asked rather sheepishly.  "We could do radiotherapy but personally I think surgery would be the best option" He was very matter of fact about it all. Well what could I say the expert had spoken.

So that was it. Surgery was arranged again two weeks later and I won't bore you with the details as it's pretty much a repeat of the last time. The only difference being I knew what was coming this time so I didn't feel quite so anxious.

OK so you may want to look away now.......... this is where it gets Messy

I came out of surgery and was on the ward. The procedure probably took the same amount of time and I felt pain free and honestly not too bad at all.  Last time I didn't look at my surgery until I got home but this time I had come prepared. (I wasn't in the girl guides for nothing)

I brought a little mirror in my handbag and as soon as I had had my tea and toast, been seen by the consultant and was ready to go home. I got the mirror out of my bag, held it up and looked. I Cried!